Sasuke's Sleepover
by Akarah
Summary: Whoa, What? Sasuke's having a party?
1. I feel disturbed inside

Sasuke's Sleepover

(A/N) Since this is my first fic, I've written it in Play Form. I know its not like most fics on here but I'm still finding my writing style. I hope this doesn't bother anyone! Thanks Audrey (Zimori on fanfiction) for betaing my story and Melissa, Jeramie, and Charlotte for reading it on March 8th 2006 before I published it.

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Ino: Sleeping Pills?

Sakura: Check.

Ino: Rope?

Sakura: Check.

Ino: Camera and Makeup?

Sakura: Check.

Ino and Sakura: (Together) This is going to be great!

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Narrator: Sasuke was sitting in his house eating strawberries when he heard a knock at his door. He began to open it and was nearly Trampled to death.

Naruto: Hi Sasuke, I came to set up for the party!

Sasuke: (Angry) Get off me dobe!

Naruto (Confused) Sasuke? Where are you? Your doormat feels like jello.. Whoa! Your strawberries are talking to me.

Sasuke: (Angry) Those are my berries! I mean.. erm.. Get off me!

Naruto: Oh, There you are. I came to set up for the party.

Sasuke: (Coldly) Party? You know I don't like those. Besides, I wouldn't invite you anyway.

Naruto: Why of course you would! -Hands Sasuke Invititation- By the way, I brought pin the Bikini on Sakura!

Sasuke: (Annoyed and Distrubed) Naruto, Someone must really be slipping something in your ramen because you can clearly see Ino and Sakura signed their names at the bottom, scribbled them out, and signed my name with a smiley face.

Naruto: Don't Be Silly! You wouldn't sign your name with a smiley face.

Sasuke: That doesn't make any sense you dumb ass.

Naruto: (Annoyed) So!

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Sasuke's Answering Machine: Hey this is Sasuke and this pointless device is taking up space. Leave a quick message and hope I'll care enough to get it.

Sesshoumaru: Hi Sasuke. I had a dream you were chasing Ino with scissors because you wanted to cut her hair. I still can't understand why she would run from you. Anyway, I'll be at the party.

Hiei: I have absolutely no idea who you are. But Kurama has told me you think most things are pointless. Maybe we can have a conversation about pointlessness. I'll be over.

Sakura: (Frenzied and Happy) SASUKE-KUN! I PLANNED YOU A PARTY! DO YOU LOVE ME NOW!

Ino: (Angry) Don't listen to her Sasuke! I planned the party all by myself! She just wants you to take your shirt off!

Sakura: (Embarrased) Ino? Why did you tell him?

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(A/N) Obviously, you can tell Sasuke is going to kill Naruto, Sakura, and Ino. I'm still getting over the Sakura-Bikini thing. xD (By the way, Pin the Bikini on Sakura is just like pin the tail on the donkey)


	2. Girl Fight!

(A/N) Thanks Melissa, Audrey, Jeramie, and Charlotte for taking my fanfic notebook and reading this chapter ahead of time. XD

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Sakura: Do you think he suspects anything?

Ino: We left him like 5 messages, what do you think?

Sakura: Well excuse me! At least I'm not blonde.

Ino: Take that back, ugly!

Sakura: Your so blonde you drowned trying to scratch a scratch n' sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!

Ino: Your so ugly when Sasuke looks at you his eyes will melt.

Sakura: Your so blonde you failed an IQ test!

Ino: Your so ugly you make people blind.

Sakura: What did you say!

Ino: You heard me!

Narrator: Sakura and Ino begin pulling each other's hair while rolling on the ground; Kakashi then peeks in.

Kakashi: Whoa! Girl fight!

Narrator: Kakashi pulls out a bucket of popcorn and yells:

Kakashi: Go ugly girl, your so gonna kick that stupid blonde's ass!

Sakura and Ino: (Together) What!

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Hiei: What's the point of going to Sasuke's party? He's going to die eventually, anyway.

Kurama: You need to do something social, Hiei. Besides, It wouldn't hurt you to find someone you don't want to kill.

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(A/N) Wow, another disturbing chapter. Kakashi loves looking at miners, Who knew?


	3. That's Hot!

(A/N) This chapter may be a little boring, but hey, this one contains a Paris Hilton cliché.

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Sakura and Ino: (Together) Do you take back what you say about us?

Kakashi: No, your still ugly and your still dumb.

Sakura: I'm not ugly! But she is definitely dumb.

Ino: I'm not dumb but you're a hideous monster.

Sakura: You take that back, white-trash!

Ino: Shut up, Godzilla!

Narrator: Ino jumps on Sakura's back and begins to pull her hair.

Kakashi: Wow, that's hot!

Sakura and Ino: (Together) Ewwe!

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Naruto: I still have pin the bikini on Sakura.

Sasuke: Wow, I feel disturbed.

Naruto: Fine, I'll let you go first.

Sasuke: You really are an idiot.

Naruto: Yeah I am, way to tell me!

Sasuke: Someone needs to check you in to a mental institution.

Naruto: I went there and they wanted to know what flavor of ice cream I wanted.

Sasuke: That would be an Ice Cream store.

Naruto: Then what's the place with the bouncy walls?

Sasuke: (Sighs)

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Narrator: Hinata heads over to Sakura's house.

Hinata: (Happy) Hi Sakura!

Sakura: (Distracted) Hi Hinata..?

Hinata: Where's Ino?

Sakura: In the kitchen making punch, I'll go get her.

Narrator: Sakura heads to the kitchen.

Sakura: (To Ino) Why did you invite Hinata?

Ino: Because I'll look even better standing next to ugly people.

Sakura: Great idea.. Wait.. What did you call me?

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Not a great chapter, but I promise Chapters 4 and 5 will have some laughter.


	4. Did he cheat on you with Oprah?

(A/N) I thought we could join Sakura and Ino for a flashback. Enjoy.

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Narrator: Flashback 1; The Oprah Show

Oprah: Today on the Oprah show we join two friends on their quest of trying to win a guy's heart. Lets start with Sakura.

Narrator: Oprah turns toward Sakura.

Oprah: Now Sakura, why do you like Sasuke so much?

Sakura: I don't know.. He's just so awesome and I love how kissable he looks.

Ino: He would never like you! Your forehead is so big, I'm surprised people don't mistake you for a rhino!

Sakura: Your so dumb, Kiba's dog is smarter than you!

Oprah: Girls, Please!

Sakura and Ino: (Together and Angry) Shut up, Oprah!

Narrator: Sakura and Ino push Oprah to the ground.

Narrator: Present time.

Sakura: And that's the time we were on the Oprah show.

Hinata: Well.. I would of bust a cap in her ass.

Ino: Whoa! Did she just say what I think she said?

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Naruto: Wow Sasuke, that's almost as funny as the time Ino was on the Jerry Spring show!

Narrator: Flashback 2; The Jerry Springer Show

Jerry: Today we join Ino to find out if Akamaru is her child's father.

Ino: I'm not pregnant and Akamaru is a dog.

Jerry: Your not pregnate?

Ino: No.

Jerry: Deformed?

Ino: No.

Jerry: Having an affair with your mother's boyfriend?

Ino: No.

Jerry: Come on, we just want to see you have a fight with the audience and throw some chairs.

Ino: I did have a fight with Oprah once…

Jerry: Did Akamaru cheat on you with Oprah?

Ino: Did he? Oh my god!

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(A/N) Disclaimer: I don't own Jerry Springer, Oprah Winfrey, or Naruto. XD

By the way, thanks Ben, Melissa, Audrey, Jeramie, and Charlotte for betating chapters 4 and 5.


	5. What do you think? I still have scars

(A/N) This time, lets join Sasuke for a flashback. Weird, huh? I'll get to the sleepover in a few chapters.

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Sasuke: I felt dumber just from watching that.

Naruto: It still doesn't beat that time you and Akamaru were on that gameshow…

Narrator: Flashback 1; Jeopardy.

Alex Trubec: Welcome to another exciting game of jeopardy! Lets meet our players. Lets start with you in position one.

Sasuke: Hi, my name is..

Fan girls: OH MY GOD! IT'S HIM! AHHHH!

Alex: …. Okay then, Lets meet our 2nd player.

Debbie: Hi, I'm Debbie and I…

Fan Girls: O-M-G! SHES STANDING NEXT TO SASUKE, GET HER!

Narrator: The fan girls tackle Debbie into the audience.

Alex: Wow, that's gotta hurt. Lets watch it again; In slow motion!

Narrator: Everyone turns toward the plasma screen as Debbie hurdles toward the audience.

Alex: Lets meet our 3rd player.

Akamaru: Woof!

Fan girls: Aww.. He's so cute!

Narrator: A few minutes later.

Alex: The score is Akamaru 10000 and Sasuke negative 550.

Sasuke: What! He's a dog for Christ's sake!

Narrator: Sasuke picks up Akamaru.

Sasuke: See..

Fan Girls: OMG! HE'S TOUCHING AKA, GET HIM!

Narrator: Present Time; Sasuke's House.

Naruto: Remember?

Sasuke: What do you think? I still have scars.

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(A/N) Short, but good.


	6. Kakashi puts on a Paris Hilton wig

(A/N) We join Sasuke and Naruto for some really weird-weirdness. If Paris Hilton impersonators offend you, don't read this chapter!

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Naruto: I can't believe you lost to a dog!

Sasuke: Shut up, Naruto!

Naruto: Your just jealous of my hotness!

Sasuke: You, hot, your face must of broke all of your mirrors again; look who has all the fan girls!

Narrator: Sasuke heads to the window and opens the blinds.

Fangirls: (LOUD!) O-M-G! IT'S HIM! I LOVE YOU SASUKE! MARRY ME!

Naruto: Wow, how much did you have to pay to get them to come here?

Sasuke: Pay them? Take that back!

Naruto: Never!

Narrator: Kakashi peeks in the window; Naruto puts Sasuke in a headlock.

Kakashi: Wow, that's hot!

Naruto and Sasuke: (Together) What did you say?

Narrator: Kakashi puts on a Paris Hilton wig.

Kakashi: (In his most convincing girl voice) That's hot!

Fan Girls: (outside) Omg! It's Paris Hilton and she's trying to steal Sasuke, get her!

Narrator: The fan girls chase "Paris Hilton" down the road.

Kakashi: AAAAAAHHHH!

Narrator: Kakashi runs to Kiba's house.

Kakahi: Kiba, help me, I'm…

Kiba: (Interupting) Whoa, It's Paris Hilton, that's hot!

Narrator: One of the fan girl's eye twitches.

Fan Girl: Did a guy just say, "That's hot?"

Kiba: Umm… She made me do it?

Narrator: Kiba points to Kakashi.

Fan girls: She did? Get her!

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Sasuke: (Teasing) I bet Paris Hilton likes me more.

Naruto: No she doesn't! I bet she'll want to make out with me.

Sasuke: I doubt it.

Naruto: Why? (In a girly voice) Oh Naruto! Please make out with me, I want your bod!

Sasuke: Yeah right, she'd be all: (Also in a girly voice) Ewwe! I'd rather make out with Ino!

Naruto: Really? And I thought you were gay..

Sasuke: Are you really that dumb? I'm not gay!

Naruto: Are you sure?

Sasuke: What do you mean am I sure?

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(A/N) Wow! Another chapter filled with cheesy Paris Hilton clichés, questionable genders, dumb arguments, Kakashi staulking minors and peeking in windows, and crazy psycho fan girls. Has a question for Kiba How could Paris Hilton make you do something? She'd probably be too busy throwing up. Runs from reviewer's flames AAAHHH!

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(Disclaimer) I know eating disorders are very serious. I was simply joking and I didn't mean to hurt/offend anyone, thank you.

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(Reviewers Notes)

Karaoke: (Chp 2) Ahhahah, I love what Kakashi says! "Go ugly girl!" Hahahaha yes, perfect! Ino's cooler than Sakura though. (Chp 4) hahahahah OMG that is disgusting... hahahahaha... and I can NOT see Hinata saying such a thing! O.o Which makes it even funnier!

Zimori/Audri: (Chp 3)"Ino: Because I'll look even better standing next to ugly people."

:D

classic on that one, my fwiend. :)

(Chp 4) ROFLMFAO. o

"Did Akarmary cheat on you with Oprah?Did he? Oh my god!"

Yesh, Ino is indeed gullible. -hugs you-

(Chp 5) LMFAO again.

my mom thought i was a lunatic. she said she'd check ME into a mental institution.

You do good work.-BUT, only if Melissa and I are amongst Sasuke's obnoxious fangirls.

Keep it up, and use that big ol' brain of yours to think of some more funny stuffs, k?

With ya AL the way,  
-Aud

Faerie-killer: (Chp 5) yup. yur on crack. continue p-l-e-a-s-e?


	7. My daddy taught me that!

(A/N) I just reread of all my chapters and realized I had quite a few typos, sorry about that.

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Sakura: Shouldn't we be getting ready for the sleepover?

Ino: Duh, there are going to be guys there.

Sakura: We should call it.

Ino: Call what?

Sakura: Oh my god, guys, duh!

Ino: Okay.. Hiei.

Sakura: Sesshoumaru.

Ino: Rock Lee.

Sakura: Rock Lee? L-O-L

Ino: Fine.. Sasuke.

Sakura: No way, I already called him!

Ino: No you didn't, forehead girl.

Sakura: Shut up, anarexalemic! (Anarexic-bolemic)

Narrator: Kakashi peeks in.

Kakashi still in the wig: Did someone call?

Ino: What the heck is Paris Hilton doing in our show?

Sakura: I don't know.. Didn't _her _show get canceled, anyway?

Paris: No, it didn't get cancled..

Sakura and Ino: ….

Paris: Just because I thought Walmart was a place to buy "wall stuff" doesn't make me dumb!

Sakura and Ino: ….

Paris: You just hate me because I'm black!

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Narrator Sasuke's house.

Naruto: Shouldn't you be making things for the party?

Sasuke: I'm not having a party.

Naruto: A sleepover, whatever!

Sasuke: I'm not having one of those pointless things either.

Naruto: Oh well… I'll make the food anyway.

Narrator: Naruto gets a jar of peanut butter out of his bag and takes a pickle from Sasuke's fridge.

Sasuke: (Disturbed) Um, Naruto, I think I'll make the food.

Naruto: Are you sure? Everyone loves my peanut butter surprise!

Sasuke: _Yeah, I'm sure!_

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Paris: I'm not dumb!

Sakura and Ino: ….

Paris: Shut up before I have to go "that's hot" all over you!

Ino: Is she still talking?

Paris: No!

Sakura: (To ino; sarcastic) I bet she can't even spell the word no.

Narrator: 5 minutes later….

Sakura: No Paris, that spells cat.

Paris: At least I can spell my name!

Sakura and Ino: ….

Paris: S-P-O-I-L-E-D B-R-A-T, my daddy taught me that!

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Sasuke's answering machine: Hi, this is Sasuke, leave a message that isn't completely pointless.

Paris Hilton: Hi Sasuke, this is paris..

Narrator: Sasuke unplugs the telephone.

Sasuke: When will they ever learn?

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(A/N) That was a whole lot of nothing :D

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I think I'll start a new section of my stories, friend comments!

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(F/C)

Shiori/Melissa: Mwahahaha! That rox! I wish my Gaara, Lee, Shikamaru, or Kiba-Kun were in it _they are._

Zimori/Audri: Splee! . I like Sasuke's message.

Shiori (Again): Ditto. Sasu Rox. (Underlined 3 times)

Ben: It's confusing. _Well excuse me if you can't read xD_


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